Defence utilises annual and midterm reporting to provide formal feedback on performance however, Josh Bowen from ‘3 x 5 Leadership’, in his final instalment of articles, sees this infrequency as insufficient to affect change. If appropriate feedback is not given to leaders, they should show the assertiveness to seek it. Bowen outlines several strategies on how to request it from anyone in the organisation. Ideally seeking feedback from others should be a routine process, and should be part of everyday business. This article also details some crucial strategies on how the effective leader should internalise any feedback they receive, by applying, rejecting or modifying feedback according to the context. The argument for seeking regular feedback is compelling, but the asking can at times be awkward. It's all in the asking.